This may make some people I know unfriend me, at the very least not invite me over anymore and I am OK with that. This is really outside of my normal sunshine and roses, life is great I am up for any challenge type post. At the same time, it needs to be said.
A few times recently, especially with the holidays, we have been invited to friends homes. As our kids are normally dubbed the “good kids” who use manners, respect other peoples homes and their kids toys we are often encouraged to bring our children with us, in hopes our kids behaviors will rub off on their kids. It’s something that amazes us yet we are sort of proud of as means we are at least doing something right.
Here is the crux of the matter. We don’t curse in front of our kids. We don’t let them watch shows that have “bad words” in them. When they do hear a bad word we talk about why it’s not a good word to use and what could have been said instead. So when we go to other peoples homes who do not monitor their language in front of children it makes it really uncomfortable for us and the kids.
It’s not our place to tell you how to act in your own home, but it is my place as my child’s Momma to teach them right from wrong and how to stand up for what they believe in yet listen with an open mind. In the end it comes down to one major learned trait, respect.
We respect your home, your way of doing things; you want us to come over, respect ours. My kids will always put a Mrs. or Mr. in front of your name weather you want it to be your first or last doesn’t matter. It’s a sign of respect. My kids will always help clean up the mess they made, and sometimes ones they didn’t. My kids will always ask first and say please and thank you. Is it so hard for you to not say Sh*t or F*ck in front of them?
How can we as parents, as role models for our kids expect them to do better, be better, when we ourselves are not modeling that behavior?
My kids hear me say please and thank you to strangers, even people doing their jobs like cashiers, door attendants, janitors, ride attendants, gas station employees it doesn’t matter what walk of life some one is on, manners are used. They are being shown/modeled manner so they use them.
At home, even out and about, if something happens that makes us speak out we have other words we say. My kids know if I say Nova Scotia, I am on the brink! (Nothing against Nova Scotia, have never been there but heard its great. It’s something that just came out once a long time ago and it stuck.) We found when we use unsinn (nonsense) words it helps us recognize our reaction and monitor it. It also allows us to get out anger or frustration out without using the “bad” words. Some of the stuff we say even gets everyone laughing which eases the tension.
In the end, it all comes down to respect. Which do you you choose; respect or disrespect?