Recently I hosted an open house . Very informal but invitations were still sent via social media and text. I had eight people say they were coming, one who was unsure and a LOT of no responses. A few people shared their regrets, even last minute. Hey, I understand, life happens. For this type of invite a nice sorry cant make it maybe next time works!
I have always said I am a no pressure person, and I mean it. Really believe the art of just spending time with friends is lost on my generation and younger and would love to bring that art back! Technology has made it easier for people to keep in touch and see the experiences others are having but the more I observe, the more it seems these experiences are lacking friends, they are more insular.
Why do I bring this up? Out of the EIGHT people who said yes, two cancelled last minute (one of those had a legit family emergency) and the other 6 where straight out no shows. People I spoke with during the week about the event, even some that day, and not once did they say “Oh hope it is awesome unfortunately I cant make it. ”
According to the Spruce, “The term RSVP comes from the French expression “répondez s’il vous plaît”, meaning “please respond.” If RSVP is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party.
RSVP does not mean to respond only if you’re coming, and it does not mean respond only if you’re not coming (the expression “regrets only” is reserved for that instance). This means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event and needs it by the date specified on the invitation.”
In addition, “It is bad form to cancel an RSVP unless you have a very good reason, limited in general to illness or a death in your family. The host will already have made plans based on your attendance.”
Maybe I am old fashioned, but this is how I always felt about RSVPs. I would not say I am coming unless I know I will be able to attend. Even if the day of the event there is something else I would rather do, including letting my introvert side rule, I go because I said I would be there. For me this is more a show of respect for the host and my friend who thought enough to invite me then it is about me. They went through the time to organize, clean, prepare or buy food based on those coming. How would you feel if you planned an event , had friends who said they would be there and they never showed? That is why I go.