Month: May 2016

It’s OK not to win.

I have a competitive nature.  If you say we need at least 10 I will have 20. If you say run a mile I will run 2 (sort of, working on getting back into that kind of shape!) I am that person who has to do more, be more.  This is a trait that has been passed on to my son.

He has a deep need to win.  If he does not win a melt down ensues . . . yes he is 4 and melt downs are not unheard of at this age.  But a complete breakdown because his cousin’s shark bit his shark first . . . . ummm yeah.

At karate  one day they were playing a version of Simon Says called Ninja says.  The first round my son did well he was one of the last ones out.  The next round he was the second one out, complete melt down! He cried so much they brought him to me with a I think he missed you.  Umm yeah, no he didn’t.  He missed not winning. We hugged and counted to 20 like we do when he is upset and I asked him what happened, he said he just got out . .  and he missed me.

Not being the best is difficult for him.  We never emphasize winning, but he does.  He needs to be in front if we are walking.  He needs to win the race when running home.  We tell him we love him no matter what place he comes in as long as he tries his best.  We tell him sometimes we learn more from not winning than winning.  We tell him if something did not work that time to try something different next time, just have fun and enjoy thinking of different ways to get what you are trying for . . . did we mention fun?!?!?!?!

After speaking with coaches and friends about this, its one of the hardest concepts to teach.  I am hoping by showing him that we are still having fun even when we do not win will help him understand.  Really hope this works!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you!

It is difficult to believe that I started this site a year ago.  I know only like 3 people read this but it has helped me so much this last year.  I started a blog in order to work on my writing and tell better, stronger stories.  This is still my focus and drive.  Yet this has become more.

It was a way for me to deal with a major change in my life. The loss of my job, change in careers, the demands of two children and still finding space for me.  This blog has been my therapist and thank you for sharing it with me!

As a thank you I would like to share a sneak peak into two on my WIPs (Work In Progress). The first has been a labor of love for the last four years.  It has been put on the back burner for way to long and its ready to be told . . . sort of.  It’s not finished, but the characters keep coming out to play, time to let them!

The Forgotten: Tribe of the Moon

Ren and Naoki made it back to the grand hall just as a great silence fell.

“What do you think is happening in there? Should we go in?”  Naoki wondered holding his ear to the door in hopes to catch the tone from with in. “Maybe someone else has caught the wrath of the Nerys and we can be spared”.  When no sounds could be determined, next trying to peer through a key hole turning his head to see if it would make a difference in seeing better.

Ren had another idea. “I think the silence is because of me and what I did, not you.  They need to accept me. If you want to go in ahead and separate for what I am about to do, I encourage and ask you to. Otherwise, for this you may get in trouble as well. You should not be punished for my choices, it’s not right.” He closed his eyes and began to concentrate letting the energy that flowed within him self rise up.

“What do you plan to do? It is not in your best interest either to raise the ire of the Nerys any more and with it that of the Ba’als. Please think of what you are about to do!” Naoki pleaded imploringly with his brother.

Looking up at the unseen sky from within the hall “I feel the power, the moon is almost full. During the last full moon I discovered I could do something that the counsel will either like or really hate, I show it to them today. I can make myself seen with out being seen. I can make myself as if made of glass yet stronger then anything seen by this tribe before. It is like I am made of moonlight and can walk though the night as if part of it.” With those words, he became so.

The next is the most recent guest to my imaginative journey.  When I ran it past my husband he said it is like a cross of Power Rangers meets the Happening . . . still trying to figure out if that is good or not, but these characters are not going anywhere until their story is told!

Awakening Forces (Maybe still working on this)

The Characters:

5 main characters. 3 females all blonde. 2 males. 1-black hair, melted chocolate eyes . 1 russet brown hair with moss green eyes.

Female 1 – Rich, an come off as conceited and spoiled. Her eyes are honey colored and has the ability to control others will. She struggles with the morality of it.
Female 2 – the body guard. Former MMA fighter, never lost. Her speed and agility make her a tough component, but her lean frame hides her true power, strength.
Female 3 – seems shy and mousy upon meeting her. She is used to hiding her intellect as to not intimidate others. She is immensely curious and it often puts her in a perilous position.
Male 1 – The first to discover why they are all brought together, has the ability to see the past as if it is the present.
Male 2 – taken by surprise by the entire situation, has a major crush on the body guard (she brushes him off frequently despite attraction as her only focus is keeping client safe, and distractions are not welcome, yes she has been hurt before) which is why he was hanging around to begin with. Has ability to fly.
Teacher: Male? Ancestor of female 1 & male 1 but neither know it? Looks like Male 1. Male 1 able to see his story via ability. He also had ability of flight. He was once a defender against this evil as well.

Basic Summary:

They all have amazing abilities, but only the females are aware of what they are capable of, but not why.

There is an evil that exists. Deep in the woods of Maine. People are disappearing from a local town. Locals and tourists alike, yet no one investigates or seems to notice.

At first it is believed the flora of the forest are the culprit, causing the people who try to pick/cultivate it to become its slave in order for it to spread. This is just how the true evil finds food and those to serve. The heroes go deeper into the woods and find a deep cave. It is here true evil resides and is the force they must defeat to save the enslaved and stop others from falling pray.

This one is only a few weeks old and still in the getting to know you stage, just like any new relationship.  Really hoping these two can get along! This next year I will be taking time to work with and on both of them!

The Cozy Spot

A cry of distress.  A scream of terror.  A loud bang.  Many things can wake a parent up in the middle of the night.  Sometimes parents get lucky and little one goes back to sleep on their own.  Sometimes it takes a bit more; a diaper change, a bottle/drink, some rocking and singing.  Sometimes parents are not lucky at all and little one just will not fall back asleep.

When our son was born we received a LOT of advice on this.  Co-sleep, baby wants to know you are close by.  Give more food, make him pass out from a food comma.  Never co-sleep, besides smooshing him it will give him the habit of coming into your bed at night as he gets older. Buy earplugs and let him cry it out.  Everyone had something to say on the matter.

2013-02-22 17.11.19As my husband was working part time at nights when my son was born many of these suggestions did not work for us.  With my husband coming home from work between 11 PM-midnight and my getting up at 5 AM, or son usually waking up shortly after my husband was going to bed, bringing him to bed with us did not work.  My husband is a restless sleeper, noises keep him awake and an excited toddler definitely makes noises!  Would always try to get him back down with a diaper change, bottle and some rocking; unfortunately this rarely worked. He just wanted to play!

We created the cozy spot.  It started with some blankets in my son’s play area where I could crash as he played and wore himself out.  It kept me close by him so he felt safe, and I was right there if needed. He typically fell back asleep just as it was time for me to get up and go to work.

As you can see, my son really liked his cozy spot.  as he got older and his play area become bigger, so did his cozy spot.  it eventually became a bunch of dog pillow beds covered in blankets on the floor in the play room.  Thankfully we did not need it much after he turned 2.  For some reason between age 1 and 2, my son did not like to sleep the night.

2016-04-24 07.29.26Our daughter is now almost 17 months and we have used the cozy spot a few times.  Typically she wants to snuggle when not feeling well and now that our schedules are different bringing her to bed with me is not as challenging as it was with my son.  I do still prefer the cozy spot as I feel its safer for her in case she wakes up while I doze.  She can play safely and I still get sleep while being near by.   Its a win-win for us!