Are they real?

“Are they real?” is a question I heard often as an adult.  Get your mind out of the gutter, it was referring to my eyes.  Never thought my eye color was anything unique as most of my family has them but I guess that is not true.

Growing up was always told we had hazel eyes.  They can “change” color.  Never really understood what hazel eyes were so one day I looked it up.  According to Wikipedia:

“Hazel eyes are due to a combination of Rayleigh scattering and a moderate amount of melanin in the iris’ anterior border layer.[4][33] Hazel eyes often appear to shift in color from a brown to a green. Although hazel mostly consists of brown and green, the dominant color in the eye can either be brown/gold or green. This is how many people mistake hazel eyes to be amber and vice versa.[71][72][73][74][75][76][77] This can sometimes produce a multicolored iris, i.e., an eye that is light brown/amber near the pupil and charcoal or dark green on the outer part of the iris (or vice versa) when observed in sunlight.

Definitions of the eye color hazel vary: it is sometimes considered to be synonymous with light brown or gold, as in the color of a hazelnut shell.[71][73][76][78]

Hazel eyes occur throughout Caucasoid populations, in particular in regions where blue, green and brown eyed peoples are intermixed.”

A more scientific definition comes from Stanford at the Tech:

“So why don’t we know more about the genetics of hazel eyes? Part of the reason comes from the difficulty of defining hazel. In other words, when is hazel actually brown? Or green?

People are working on coming up with ways to more precisely define these different eye colors. Hopefully they won’t open up a whole new can of worms by giving us a bunch of new eye colors (brown-hazel, hazel, green-hazel, etc.).

Another reason is that the inheritance must be pretty tricky. It must not be as “simple” as blue, green, and brown eyes.”

They go very deep into the genetics of it all, feel free to read on!

After doing more research, my eyes fall somewhere into that could be “green-hazel” or green or hazel depending on the light.  As much as crying is never on my to-do list it does always give me a great dark green with gold eye color afterwards!

When I was younger my eyes tended more toward a brown then a gold color like my kids eyes now.  This would make my daughter happy as she often says she wants green eyes like mommy and light hair like daddy.  At three years old I am not sure why she cares!

In the end, my favorite answer that I ever gave to the question “Are your eyes real?” was to a student. ” No I had an eye transplant a few years ago.” Said comeplete dead pan and he believed me. (Please note he was about 16 years old and colored contacts were the rage at the time.)

How young is old enough

Recently I was asked how I would feel about not being able to stay and watch my son at his after school activity.  My first thought was NOOOOOOO!  Not because I do not trust the coaches and owner, but because he is 6.

It’s a bit weird that my reaction was to say no.  He has gone to “Parent night out events” at this location and loved it.  I was a nervous wreck, though I tried not to show it.  Still I am not comfortable leaving him in class for an hour without me there.

In speaking with other parents some agree with me others do not see what the problem is with dropping off.  This raises the question, how young is old enough? If my son was 7 I don’t think I would have the same reaction but that is only a year away.

My thoughts are this, within that year a lot of growth happens, we are already seeing it.  Right now he has not fully learned impulse control and is easily distracted.  Combine that with most of his instructors/coaches being young and having 4-8 other kids between the ages of 4-7 in a group how will they be able to handle it if he does get hurt.  I love my son but know how dramatic he can be when he gets hurt, will they be able to assess when he is really hurt or just being dramatic? He is starting to learn the difference but is not there yet.

What is your thought? How young is old enough to drop a child off for an after school activity?

 

Non-Newtonian Fluid

I was an adult when I learned of a Non-Newtonian fluid. Do you know what they are?  Or even what a Netownian fluid is?

Growing up I do not remember this ever coming up while I was in school.  What are they? Defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary a Newtonian fluid is a fluid whose viscosity does not change with rate of flow. Huh? Basically no matter how fast or slow it’s going the resistance to flow; it follows all of Newtons laws on how liquids should act.

Then what is a non-Newtonian fluid? According to Science Learning Hub it is defined as fluids  that change their viscosity or flow behavior under stress. If you apply a force to such fluids (say you hit, shake or jump on them), the sudden application of stress can cause them to get thicker and act like a solid, or in some cases it results in the opposite behavior and they may get runnier than they were before. Remove the stress (let them sit still or only move them slowly) and they will return to their earlier state.  Think of slime or cornstarch and water.  They can ooze around and take the shape of any container they are placed in but still act like a solid under situations.

Why does any of this matter? Because I feel like a non-Newtonian fluid.  Many people have heard me say ” I am like water, what do you need?”  Yup I am really good at morphing into just about any roll, some better than others. Please do not take my ability to transfer my position/roll to fit the situations needs.  I have adapted well to many scenarios and truth be told I am at my breaking point.

I am being pulled in so many directions like to many kids pulling on silly putty to see how far it can stretch, there is not much left to hold me together.  This does not mean I am brittle and about to break, on the contrary, we non-Newtonian fluids fold back together after being broken, unlike Newtonian fluids.  We are more versatile and can make a lot happen.

Now the question is, in what shape and form will I take next?

 

 

What do you do for a living?

Through out our lives we have had a need to compare what we are doing to others.  See it in my kids, the need to compete and do better.  We here it on the playground, “where do you go to school?” or ” how many X do you have, I have X.”

This theme transcends into adulthood. What kind of car do you drive? What do you do? Where do you work?  What town do you live in? How many bedrooms?  The comparisons never seem to end.

With everything going on in my world I never know how to respond to the most common of these questions, What do you do for a living?

Do I answer run a home cleaning service? Or I sell the most amazing tea and  host fun tea parties! Or I am a part of an amazing company that has the best nutrition and skin care available!  Or I help people save on there energy and phone bill.  Or do I say I am a struggling writer of young adult fiction with a strong lean in Science fiction/fantasy?

All of these apply, depending on the person, anyone could lead to an amazing connection.  The struggle is which one? The answer could either lead to an amazing connection or a lost opportunity.  This is what I have come up with to solve the dilemma.

I am in the happiness business.

Wish you had more time but it feels like you come home from work and have more work? I can help! Weekly, biweekly and monthly cleaning options are available!

Need a way to relax the mind and rejuvenate the spirit? Let’s sit with a cup of Tealightful tea and talk about happy things!

Feeling low on energy and want to feel better physically and mentally?  You, Me, spa day and sampling yummy Arbonne alternatives.

Need a gift that is unique?  Want to get crafty but don’t know how?  Lets talk crochet and bows with Hook and Loop Creations!

Want to loose yourself in a story?  I have several that can always use Beta Readers!  What is your genera of choice?

Feeling a little tight in the pocket? Lets look at your energy and phone bills and see if we can get them lowered with Stream!

Looking to make a little extra cash? Let’s see if any of these options work for you!

In the end, making other people happy has always made me happy . . . isn’t that what it all about?

Saying Hello

It is funny how something so simple can trigger something so powerful.

Recently I started back in yoga, try to go at least once a week, twice when I can make it work.  It has definitely helped with me flexibility, back and neck pain.  In addition, the bonus of focusing on breathe and becoming more mindful.

During on class we did a meditation at the end of a class that I was having an unusually difficult time with balance posses.  it felt like someone was pushing me over.  So as I quieted my mind an image of a dog popped into my mind, more a puppy.

The puppy was jumping around and running toward and away.  It’s silky jet black curls bouncing as it played.  The pink tongue hanging out in pure joy of the fun.  She was my Circe.  She stopped by to say Hi and let me know she was happy.

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My little muppet

Almost 2 years ago my baby girl, Circe, crossed the rainbow bridge.  I knew then and know now it was the right decision.  As a puppy and well into her adulthood she loved being active and lots of attention.  We would take 3-5 mile walks every day and still play fetch afterwards.  She was not only a very active pup, but loved to socialize.  Our walks were often interrupted with people wanting to pet her and she happily obliged. After she was brutally attacked by another dog her activity declined, but she was still a happy girl.  Once she hit “geriatric” age for dogs it was apparent walking was painful.  We tried various medicines but none of them set well in her tummy.  It was when she fell down the stair trying to follow me around the house we knew it was time.

Taking her to the Vet for the last time was difficult.  Laying on the floor with her as she took her last breath was even harder.  I am grateful she let me know that we made the correct decision.

Finding the right path

“One must learn how to live. Not just make a living, but how to find a path of beauty in this life. We begin by knowing who we are.”  Powhatan Chief Wahunsunakeh

Found this quote over 20 years ago while in High School.  Something about it always captured my attention and helped refocus what was important.  While I was in high school, my oldest sister learned calligraphy.  She wrote this saying out and framed it for me as a graduation present. That frame traveled with me to college, to my first apartment, my first condo, stayed with me while I navigated my path of teaching in Juvenile Justice Commission. Somewhere along the way I lost that frame and my path.

My life took a drastic turn in my early 30’s.  Something that scarred me worse then I realized.  Mostly because I never realized how much I kept in from my earlier years too.  Though it was that event in my early 30’s that knocked me off the precipice I was climbing.

Don’t misunderstand some amazing things happened in my 30’s.  I met my partner, we now have two amazing kids, a home we are proud to have people come to and I found out which paths were not meant for me, no matter how hard I worked on traveling them, something always held me back. Turns out they just were not the right path of beauty!

Soon after turning 40, I started  direct sales business and really working on carving out time to write in addition to my full time job and spending time with the kids.  The world of direct sales is tricky, it definitely is not a passive income many tout it to be! If someone is claiming passive income, run away, it’s a scam! What it did for me was open my eyes to another path to take, one that allows me to use my renaissance style skill sets to make my path!

Don’t get me wrong opening my eyes to seeing the possibility of this path is not easy, nor is it main stream so many people in my worlds are skeptical at first.  But once I show them the possibilities and run cost figures to profit in addition to explaining I am not leaving my full time income ( yet 😉 ) they come on board.  Helping me navigate this path and being an amazing sounding board is another Momma and lifetime long friend, Joanna.  She and I talk almost everyday, even if just sending funny meme’s to say hi.  Recently we decided to read a book, Defying Gravity: A celebration of Late Blooming Women by Prill Boyle.  This book helped me have some major “Ah-ha” moments.  Most importantly it reminded me it’s never to late to find my path of beauty and really know who I am!  For almost 10 years I tried to become what others thought I should be or what I thought others thought I am , convoluted right?   Yet I was not true to myself.  That is changing.  #fortiesandfabulous is not just a hashtag, it’s life.  To all my other Late Blooming Women. we got this and the world better watch out, we are strong, determined, and have each other’s backs!

Bite your Tounge

This may make some people I know unfriend me, at the very least not invite me over anymore and I am OK with that.  This is really outside of my normal sunshine and roses, life is great I am up for any challenge type post.  At the same time, it needs to be said.

A few times recently, especially with the holidays, we have been invited to friends homes.  As our kids are normally dubbed the “good kids” who use manners, respect other peoples homes and their kids toys we are often encouraged to bring our children with us, in hopes our kids behaviors will rub off on their kids.  It’s something that amazes us yet we are sort of proud of as means we are at least doing something right.

Here is the crux of the matter.  We don’t curse in front of our kids.  We don’t let them watch shows that have “bad words” in them.  When they do hear a bad word we talk about why it’s not a good word to use and what could have been said instead.  So when we go to other peoples homes who do not monitor their language in front of children it makes it really uncomfortable for us and the kids.

It’s not our place to tell you how to act in your own home, but it is my place as my child’s Momma to teach them right from wrong and how to stand up for what they believe in yet listen with an open mind.  In the end it comes down to one major learned trait, respect.

We respect your home, your way of doing things; you want us to come over, respect ours.  My kids will always put a Mrs. or Mr. in front of your name weather you want it to be your first or last doesn’t matter.  It’s a sign of respect.  My kids will always help clean up the mess they made, and sometimes ones they didn’t.  My kids will always ask first and say please and thank you.  Is it so hard for you to not say Sh*t or F*ck in front of them?

How can we as parents, as role models for our kids expect them to do better, be better, when we ourselves are not modeling that behavior?

My kids hear me say please and thank you to strangers, even people doing their jobs like cashiers, door attendants, janitors,  ride attendants, gas station employees it doesn’t matter what walk of life some one is on, manners are used.  They are being shown/modeled manner so they use them.

At home, even out and about,  if something happens that makes us speak out we have other words we say.  My kids know if I say Nova Scotia, I am on the brink! (Nothing against Nova Scotia, have never been there but heard its great.  It’s something that just came out once a long time ago and it stuck.)  We found when we use unsinn (nonsense) words it helps us recognize our reaction and monitor it.  It also allows us to get out anger or frustration out without using the “bad” words.  Some of the stuff we say even gets everyone laughing which eases the tension.

In the end, it all comes down to respect.  Which do you you choose; respect or disrespect?